So this week has definitely been challenging that's for sure. I have had to fight the negativity off with a bat it seems like. But today I woke up with such a peace and knowing that I am truly blessed. There are so many times that I just get so overwhelmed in this hustle and bustle we call life. I sometimes just like to stop and step back and look at what all i have. I have a WONDERFUL husband that I still can't believe that he chose me! :) And I have some incredible friends, even though I don't get to talk to most of them on a daily basis I know they would drop everything if I truly needed them. I have awesome parents and the best little brother anyone could have! And have a wonderful NEW sister. She is an amazing person that has such a big heart! So does my mother-in-law. :) My in-laws are great and I am not even lying about that! ha :) They are all really good to me and I get along with everyone. Is my life perfect..ha not even close and half the time I think i might be a lil crazy! But I wouldn't change any of it or do anything over. Everything that I have gone through in my life has made me who I am today. I am proud of who I am and love me for me! Which has taken me a LONG time to do! I pray that everyone will find peace in their live and enjoy the life we have cause we never know when it will all end. Much Love!
Welcome to my world...
My life is full of surprises! One minute I am up and the next I am down. My emotions are like a roller coaster these days, but I still wouldn't change my life for anything in the world. I love each and every day. I want to do something meaningful in my life and leave a impact on the people I meet and know. I want to make a difference. I struggle with everyday problems just like ALL of us do, I just feel that how we deal with problems define who we are. We have to push forward in life and don't let things hold us back. Smile it's so worth it!!! And laugh like no one is listening, you never know whose life you might touch in that very momemt. :)
Friday, January 14, 2011
Ok so I am so tired of trying to battle this weight!! I don't eat terrible and I work out but I still can't seem to lose the weight that I want too. And then my husband drops over 40lbs!! I am happy for him don't get me wrong but it's so much easier for men to lose weight or so it seems to me. I am so mentally exhausted, count this, weigh this, don't eat that, Ok I can have that but will have to run an extra mile..on and on. I just want to be able to lose the weight and feel better about myself for once!! I know I am having a pity party for myself, but today I am just tired of being chunky! My husband tells me Brittany you are always beautiful to me and you look great! But in the back of my mind these are my thoughts...he has to say that, he wouldn't hurt my feelings so he says these things to make me feel better and etc. Why can't I just love me for me and stop with this constant pressure that I put on myself??? Who knows why, I can't figure it out. I know right now the enemy is working overtime on my mind and I refuse to let him win!! So I need to start praying hard before I go insane!! I think I am done venting now....who knows I may be back for more later!!
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Sometimes I feel that I am mutiple people combined into one body. And today Negative Nancy has come out to play. I have been fighting this horrible mood all day because I do not want to let it consume me. My hormones must be all out of wack or something..I dunno. I am just feeling off today and I am ready to get back on track. I want to be positive and thougthful and many other things that what I am today. This negative attitude or person I am today has got to go. I think I am going to kill Negative Nancy with kindness...haha, ok yep I definitely sound like a crazy person!!! But we are all a little crazy..some just won't admit it. And hey if you can't laugh at yourself who can you laugh at. Well I feel better all ready, maybe Nancy has left my body. ha :) See y'all later for Random thoughts from the crazy lady!
Monday, January 10, 2011
Well every year that passes my dad ages, my mom ages, my brother ages...everyone around me including myself ages. Over time it gets harder and harder to see. Especially my sweet lil mammaw. She is 92 years old and I know that she will not live forever but all of my life I have never seen her down or sick. She has been in the hospital before, but I was never exposed to it. I have always just seen her as such a strong little woman. And I do mean little, I think she weights 85 pounds but she is one of the strongest ladies I know. She just recently had a stroke and while I know that a stroke can change the apperance of someone I wasn't prepared to see what I saw on Saturday. My poor mammaw didn't look like herself. She was compeltely coherent but can't speak or move much at all. It was devestating for me to see. When she saw me she started to cry so I took her hand and told her it's ok don't cry, you are going to pull through from this. I told her you are so strong and have lots of people praying for you. She shook her head yes and just squeezed my hand. I had a huge knot in my throat and couldn't stop the tears from coming down. When she saw my tears she just cried with me. She never took her eyes off of me and she kept trying to say something. So I just looked at her and said I love you too. She means so much to me and it kills me to see her like that. But on a brighter note she is doing really well considering her age. She knows what's going on around her and can shake her head yes and no to respond to anything you say. Chase acutally got her to giggle out loud..which brought all of us so much joy to hear her laugh. It kills me to not be able to stay with her. I just want to pick up everything and stay with her until she is well. But I can't do that. I have bills that have to be paid. The nurses are taking GREAT care of her and family members that are closer to the area are taking shifts staying with her. It just breaks my heart to see her this way but I know God will do what needs to be done and only he knows when it's her time to go. Until then I will continue to make trips to see her. I wore her out Saturday while I was there, she wanted me to brush her hair, put lotion on her face, chapstick on her lips and put water on her tongue. I didn't want to leave but knew it was time for me to go. She was getting so sleepy but kept trying to stay awake and she just stared and me while I sat by her. She is so precious to me and my family. We could all learn a few lessons from her. :)
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Well I am a little bit unsure of what to do....I have so many things running through my head. I need God's direction right now. There are so many upcoming and great things happening! I want God to put me where he wants me, so that I can be the best the he wants me to be!! So for now I will just continue to pray and be patient...the whole patient thing is really hard for me. But I know he has a plan and his timing is always the best timing. :) So for now I will keep my head up and keep on moving forward and I can't wait to see what God has in store for me and my hubby! :)
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
I was so ready for the start of a new year! Don't get me wrong there were a lot of great things that came out of 2010 but there were things that were hard and trying to get past. My main goal this year is to focus on God and my husband and our family. We don't have any kids yet...but I am really wanting to start a family and so is he. We both want to wait but then don't want to wait either. Of course everyone wants to chime in on well you should really be married at least a year or two or this one is my favorite, do you know that they cost money! Haha really is that a serious question? My husband and I are not sutpid and we are well aware that a child is not cheap by any means. I told Chase(my husband) that WE need to decide on a family and when we want to start one together and not let outsiders influence us. Becuase it's not about other people want or think, it's about us. We also have had many that want us to have babies right now! haha :) So we will wait and see what 2011 brings...baby, maybe we will see! One of my best friends is having a baby and I can't wait for her and her husband to find out what it is!! I am gonna have a busy year, planning baby showers and wedding showers and bachlorette parties...I have three weddings so far that I am in this year and I am so happy for all of my friends that are getting married or that are starting to grow their families. 2011 is going to be a great year, I just know it. I have decided to stop letting the negative comsume me and to focus on what really matters...LIFE!!! God gave me this beautiful gift and I have wasted a lot of time here on earth complaning about what I don't have. I am not pretty enough or skinny enough or smart enough....well i don't want to live like this anymore. I am a very blessed woman with lots of friends and family that care so much about me...it's about time I open my eyes and see that! My husband is wonderful to me and loves me so much!! I could not have asked for a better man to spend the rest of my life with....so 2011 let's get started and let's make this year great!!!!!